Have you ever noticed how many successful people give credit to key people in their lives that made a significant impact on their careers? Whether you’re working at middle management or executive level, mentors play a key role in helping you achieve success. Struggling to gain clarity on their goals or unsure how to turn those goals into a reality, many say that it was the benefit of having a mentor that helped them make significant progress. In fact mentoring is seen as a significant catalyst for unlocking potential. The benefits of creating and finding a relationship with someone who is more experienced and more knowledgeable cannot be underestimated. I’d say an even greater benefit of having a mentor is that he/she will see things in you that you can’t see in yourself. They’ll help you see what an amazingly talented person you are and help increase your confidence. Confidence along with competence is critical for success. I believe that everyone should have a series of mentors across their professional life to enable them to fulfill their potential.
In my own professional experience as a corporate executive recruiter I’ve been blessed to work with some exceptional mentors. Looking back on it now, and in my naivety, I never even realized that certain people were mentors to me. In my view, they were simply incredibly professional and deeply experienced women whom I truly admired. I looked up to them both personally and professionally and a part of me wanted to be just like them. I admired their style and grace, their infinite wisdom, their ability to build relationships, their sense of fun and their genuine and heartfelt wish for me to be the best I could be. Ladies, if you’re reading this now and you’ve worked with me in the past, you know who you are. May I take this opportunity to say “Thank You”. I am forever grateful and in your debt. You changed me and in turn my life.
In my opinion there’s an extraordinary amount of untapped value and knowledge in the world because people aren’t actively looking for mentoring but also that people with the knowledge and experience to mentor aren’t being asked to do it nor are they offering. But before we go any further I should clarify what is mentoring as it’s a completely different relationship and skill to coaching:
“The mentoring relationship is a collaborative partnership between a mentor, who’s seen to have greater knowledge, skills and experience, and a mentee, who is looking to increase one or all of these areas. It is an equal relationship of trust, guidance and support.”
(Todd Hermann – The Definitive Guide to Mentoring)
And the best thing is that there are numerous benefits to both parties. The mentee gains clarity and a new perspective. They receive help with solving difficult problems. They get increased confidence and access to new networks. The mentor wins too. They improve and refresh their skills. They gain fresh insights into their way of working and thinking. They have an opportunity to gain incredible satisfaction from seeing someone ambitious grow and they also have a chance to take time out to reflect on themselves and their career and contribution.
When I think about mentoring I can’t help but think back to my youth sitting in mass on a Sunday morning, and that old proverb about the fisherman: give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. That’s the real difference. Mentors teach mentees new skills and share their knowledge and experience. The mentee learns from the mentor and that enables them to acquire new skills and to grow.
So before you start you need to stop and think. What goals are you trying to achieve? What will be different for you in 6-12 months time? What will have progressed or changed for you? What are you looking for in a mentor? Think about the style of person who will work well with you. How often do you expect to meet and when/where? What skills and strengths can you bring to your mentor? The more clarity you have on your expectations of the mentoring relationship the better. With your checklist completed you can now think about the ideal person for your needs. Is there someone already in your organisation who is suitable? If not, where would you find this person? In what companies would you find them? Look at your existing network. Tell peers, colleagues, family and friends who know you what you’re looking for. Tap into their networks to help you to find the right person. Keep asking and keep looking until you find them. Like everything in life, the more clarity you have in terms of what you’re looking for, the more likely you are of finding it. Take the time to create a successful mentoring relationship that’s right for you.
One final note of caution! Before you start reaching out to a potential mentor asking for help be aware that he/she is really busy and in demand. Their time is precious. Try and avoid falling into the trap of sending them an email asking for help. You can be assured that your mentor receives “can you help me?” emails all the time. Try and be different. A great tip by Todd Hermann when approaching the person is to remember the aim of the initial contact is to foster a relationship, and it helps if you know the person you’re talking to. Check out their background/professional experience. Is there something they published in social media that resonated with you? Perhaps they’re involved in work that you too are passionate about? Express gratitude for some accomplishment or achievement. When they respond, at this point you could offer to support them on some of their projects by giving your time, your skills and your insights. Think how you can offer value to the mentor as a way of beginning the relationship. The ultimate goal of a mentoring relationship is for both parties to gain value by working together.
“The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”
Steven Spielberg
About Michelle
Michelle O’Connor is a career strategist with over 20 years corporate executive recruitment experience.
She helps executives make sense of their careers so they can experience more joy in their life and inspire others to do the same.
Please get in touch if you would like her professional help figuring out the next phase of your career.